Being in love, without the love (ON HOLD)
by EvaAnneLenthe
Summary: Clary has a great life. Until summer break starts, everything is normal. She has a boyfriend and a best friend she can count on. But when she goes to a lake house for the summer with her friends, everything starts to change. Does her boyfriend truly loves her? Is her best friend just her best friend? Or is it more? Clebastian and of course; Clace! Invloves a little cursing.
1. Pilot chapter

**Hello! This is my fourth story and it's about Clace. It's based on a dream I once had. Actually it was last night.**

 **I live in the Netherlands and I am Dutch. I'll try my best on the grammar. But don't judge me.**

 **I hope you're going to enjoy the story and if you don't mind: Please review.**

 **Enjoy!**

CAPTER ONE: **Clary's POV**

Hi, my name is Clary and I'm 17 years old. I go to school in New York but currently I have summer break.

I just finished my last day of school and tomorrow I'm heading to a lake house and party all summer on the outsides of New York. Together with my friends I'm going to have the best summer ever. Let me introduce you to them.

First I have a boyfriend. His name is Sebastian Verlac and he's been my boyfriend for one year now. I'm very happy and I love him so much. He can be jealous sometimes when I'm hanging out with my friends. He says that I spend to much time with them and he feels like he's locked out of my life. I always tell him it's nonsense and that I love him very much. But deep down I don't blame myself for spending time with my friends. I mean, I shouldn't right?

Of course I have a best friend. His name is Jace. He is my rock. We've known each other our whole life. He gives me the feeling that if I fall, he'll be down there and catch me. He gives me hug every time I see him. He is very handsome and gets attention from all the girls. Sometimes he seems to really annoy them and I know that he's searching for a special girl. The girl that makes him the happiest man on earth. Sometimes I caught myself on wishing that I'll be that girl. Not because I'm in love with him. But because I'm scared that when he finds that girl, he'll never have time for me.

Of course Jace is not my only friend. I have also Simon, Izzy, Maia, Bat, Magnus, Alec, Aline and Helen. There also good friends and I can't imagine a life without them. I can always talk to them about everything. We have this tradition where we all sit around a table, without Seb, and talk about our problems. Sebastian doesn't want to be there. He doesn't like them very much. But I think it's the other way around.

But after all, I am the happiest girl on earth. I have a great family and close friends. And I'm happy to spend the vacation with them. All of us are going to a lake house. Except Sebastian. He's going with his parents but he'll be five minutes away and I still get to see him.

We're leaving tomorrow and now we're all going home to pack and tonight we're meeting at Jace's. Izzy and Alec live there too since they're his adoptive siblings.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw golden eyes staring at me. Jace looked like he wanted a answer. He placed his hands on my upper arms and continued to stare at me with a worried expression.

"Where were you?" He asked. I know it seems like he wanted a location as answer but he didn't. He always asks this when I'm lost in my thoughts.

"I was just thinking about how great the vacation is going to be." I answered, honestly. I never lied to Jace. I was always honest with him.

We were all standing next to a big van that we rented together. We were going to use it to drive to the lake house, together. It's a really big van with enough space for all of us.

Right when I wanted to suggest we should make our way home Kaelie, Jace's current girlfriend, joined us. I groaned out loud and everyone snorted. Jace too. He knew that I hated the blonde bimbo and I know that he hated her too. He probably just used her for the sex. That's what he did with most girls. The thoughts made me giggle. Everyone looked confused and I just waved them away.

"So Kaelie. What brings you here?" I asked and glanced at her. She glanced back at me and gave me a fake smile. I know she hates me.

"I was just saying goodbye to Jacey. I'm going to miss you cutie pie." She pinched his cheeks kissed him. Even though Jace was startled he still kissed back and I saw that they were using tongue.

I don't know why but I looked away. I never do that. _What the hell Clary?_ I thought to myself.

The others seemed to be noticing my confused expression. I gave them a 'whatever' look and right when I wanted to snap at them. I saw Sebastian coming up to me. I waited until Jace and Kaelie stopped kissing and ran up to Seb and threw my arms around his neck. I kissed him and he grabbed my ass. That's exactly what I wanted. We stood there kissing and I felt gold eyes staring at me.

When we broke apart I turned around and saw Jace was looking away. Mission accomplished. _Again, what the hell Clary? Since when do you care that you best friend for gods sake looks away when you're kissing your boyfriend. Seriously girl, try to act normal._ I debated in my head.

I focused my attention to Seb and he rested his forehead on mine. I really hated it when he did this. It just didn't felt comfortable. It made me feel shorter than I even was. But I still let him do it.

"I'm going to miss you." I said to him and black eyes met green ones. I saw him grinning and then smirking. God, did I hated that smirk or what? It's so damn annoying but it also has a plus side to it. It can be very flirtatious.

"I'll see you tomorrow. It won't be that long. I'll text you tomorrow morning when I'm leaving with my parents. They have to work today so I can't leave tonight." He gave me a hug and let go. He walked away and my friends waved as a goodbye but he didn't return it.

I yelled an 'I love you!' after him but he didn't say anything back. He probably didn't hear me. I turned my face back to the others and gave them a hopeless look. When I walked back to the van I stood next to Jace and he pulled me into a hug.

"I love you too." He whispered in my ear. Low enough so no one could hear it. I giggled and gave him a hug. I rested my head against his chest and I felt him talking to the others.

I don't know what just happened but I felt my stomach flip when he said that he loved me too. He just means it as friends Clary! Seriously. Don't be a cow about it!

After a few moments of pure rest. I felt myself being pushed away from my best friend and saw a blonde bimbo hugging my personal walking pillow.

We said goodbye to Kaelie who gave Jace a sloppy kiss. Jace eventually pushed her away and led me to the van. He told me that Bat was driving so we could sit in the back and I could start using him again as my pillow. When we were both comfortable I cuddled into his side and he wrapped an arm around me.

While I leaned against him, he pulled his phone out and together we played Candy Crush. It was our favorite game and we always played it together. In the middle of a level he got a text from Kaelie which said that she wanted to hang out later. She told him to ditch us and go on a vacation with her. I felt a little scared. I knew that Jace would never ditch us but still. Kaelie is beautiful and normally she gets everything she wants. Jace probably felt me tense and he gave me the phone. I looked confused and he said that I should write the reply. So I did.

 _Hey Kaelie. It's Clary here. Stop trying to get Jace all for yourself and for your information, he's going with us on a vacation and would never ditch us. So stop being such a bitch and deal with it. Xoxo Jace's bestie Clary!_

When Jace read the message he laughed. This got everyone's attention. I send the message and the others were still watching us. They were all smirking. I didn't know why but when Alec made a picture I turned red. Alec showed the picture to us and Jace and I let go of each other.

On the picture you could see that one of my arms rested on Jace's upper thigh. Just below his... you know what. He had an arm wrapped around my waist and his head rested on mine. My other hand disappeared behind his back and appeared on the other side of his midriff. It was a intimidating pose and I blushed. The others were all laughing about it and thank got we arrived at the first house which was mine.

I got out and looked one more time at Jace. He blushed and looked away. I closed the door and entered my house. While I did that I thought about what just happened. I never felt this way when I was with Jace. Maybe it's just because I spent to much time with him lately. No, that couldn't be true ether. We're used to spend weeks in a row with each other. I don't know what's happening. But I know it will only cause trouble if I don't just let it go.


	2. On the road

**Hello. I'm back with a new chapter. I hope you liked the last one. Please review and let me know what you think! Now on with the chapter.**

CHAPTER TWO: Jace's POV

When Clary got out and closed the door I turned my focus back to my phone. After a few moments I felt eyes staring at me. I looked up and met pairs of brown, blue and grey eyes. I felt that they all wanted to say something but I decided to cut them off.

"What? Why are you all staring at me? Stop staring it's creepy." I said and all of them switched their focus back to the people they were sitting next to. The van had three different parts. In the front there was of course the drivers seat and the passenger seat. Between the middle and the front there was a wall with a window, that was now open I noticed. Then in the middle there were seats in a circle so everyone faced each other. I was closest to the door and the seat next to me was now empty. In the back there was room for luggage but now we were using it for our school bags .

I was pulled out of my thinking when I, again, felt seven pairs of eyes gazing at me. Izzy decided to talk this time.

"Thinking about Clary?" I hadn't noticed that I was staring into nothing and weren't paying attention to my phone.

"No I wasn't." I saw Izzy and the others smirking.

"When are going to tell her?" This time is was Maia who spoke.

"What am I going to tell her?" I pretended to not know what she was talking about. I saw that she didn't believe me. My red cheeks probably gave it away.

"That you're in love with her!" Bat shouted from the drivers seat.

"Thanks man! Way to go!" The only one I told about my secret just hit me in the back and I didn't like it. I saw the faces of my adoptive siblings light up. Especially Izzy's.

"You are, aren't you? Omg you're going to be a great couple! I have to make up a ship name. What about Jary or Cl... Clace." I had to admit. Clace sounds pretty good. But it couldn't happen. Never. Clary was in love with Sebastian and when I told the others they just shrugged and turned to their own conversations. I was about to play a game on my phone, but before I shut myself out. I heard Izzy whisper to Maia:

"I hate Clebastian. It sounds as a decease." I chuckled and focused on my game.

• Time Jump •

The bell rang and I knew that Clary was in front of it. Everyone already arrived and the only one missing was Clary. I opened the door and just like every time I saw her, she took my breath away. She was wearing sport leggings and a plain green sweater. But even then she was beautiful. I gave her a hug like I always do and she walked in.

"Hey, ready for the best vacay ever?" She yelled when she entered the living room where everyone was seated. I grinned and saw how Clary made her way over to the couch and wiggles herself between Izzy and Simon. She wrapped both her arms around there shoulders and gave them a kiss on the cheeks. Boy, did I want to be Simon now.

"Let's move people. Clary arrived so we're ready to go. I'm going to drive." I said and grabbed my bags. Clary jumped up and shouted. "Shotgun!" I laughed at her enthusiasm and grabbed her bags as well.

"Wow, what a gentleman." She said. While she walked past me she traced her finger over my chest. I shivered at her touch and thank god she couldn't feel it. I looked at Izzy who was smirking and then the rest of the people.

"You're fucked up man." Magnus said. And I nodded.

"I know." I agreed. I'm in love with my best friend who has a boyfriend.

• In the van •

It was a four hour drive to our rented house and we just passed one hour. Clary was asleep next to me and I closed the little window in the wall that parted the front and the middle of the van. I focused on the road but couldn't help but steal some glances at Clary. She was so beautiful when she was asleep.

I heard the little window open and Izzy stuck her head threw it. She noticed my staring at Clary and smiled.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" She asked with a genuine smile. I couldn't agree more. Clary is the most beautiful girl I know and I hate it so much that I can only be her best friend.

"Yeah, she is. I'm so jealous of Sebastian. Never thought i'd say that but it's true." I laughed a little and focused back on the road and Izzy hugged me from behind. She kissed my cheek and said she loved me. She pulled back and closed the window.

I heard that the others were playing music. When I turned the radio on, Clary woke up.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" I asked and she arched her back and threw her hands up. Her sweater went up with her too and it showed a little bit of her light tanned belly and her navel piercing.

"New piercing?" I asked and she looked confused. Then she realized I meant her navel piercing and she smiled.

"Yeah, I got it with Sebastian the other day. He said he thought it was really hot and I thought: What the hell?" I laughed a little at her sarcastically meant statement. But I could tell she hated it and I couldn't agree more. It didn't make it easier that Sebastian probably talked her into it. I hate that guy.

It went silent in the room but it wasn't a awkward one. It was comfortable. I turned the radio on and together we sang to every song until we arrived at a McDonalds. We decided to get some food and then continue driving. I was starving by now.

When the ten of us entered the McDonalds, Clary, Izzy and I decided to order the food and the rest took a seat at the window. Clary decided to order the food and I couldn't help but notice that the guy behind the counter was flirting with her. Who wouldn't? I thought to myself.

We got our food and joined the others at the table. We were all starving and we sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying our food. Well, at least that's what Clary and I were doing. I saw Clary looking up from her food in the corner of my eye and I followed her gaze. I saw everyone smirking at us.

"What? Is there food on my face?" Clary said anxiously. The others just shook there head and turned their attention back to their food. It was only then that I realized that Clary and I were sitting very close to each other. Our shoulders almost touching. I scooted away and almost bumped into Magnus who was sitting at my right. I swallowed and I saw Clary's cheeks turning red. We just turned back to our eating but this time there was a awfully awkward silence between the two of us.

• Back in the van •

When we got back to the van, Clary still jumped into the passenger side. I was surprised since we had a pretty awkward moment at McDonalds but I was also glad that she probably just forgot about it. I jumped into the drivers seat and started the car and I heard the engine coming to life. When everyone was in the van we were off to, now, a two hour drive. Clary and I were singing along with the songs on the radio and I enjoyed the sound of her voice. Eventually a boring song came up and Clary turned the radio off.

"Let's talk." Clary said and she placed her hand on my knee. I shivered, the feeling of her hand touching me was something I never got used to. I've been in love with my best friend the moment I saw her. To bad I got friendzoned.

"About what?" I asked playing dumb.

"About that moment at McDonalds. You acted like I had a disease or something. What's wrong? You've been a little strange lately." She said in a calm voice. Although I could hear a little worry in it.

"I just... I don't know. It's just that you've been spending so much time with Sebastian lately and I feel a little locked out. You get that?" I asked her and when I met her eyes I saw them widening.

"You know that you'll always be my best friend. You know that. I would never lock you out of my life, not even a little. But I'm having a great time with Seb and I can't change that for you." She said and she hugged me carefully since I was still driving. I just nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I just wanted to hear you say I was still your best friend. And there's also the fact that I hate Sebastian. I say this as your good friend and I don't want you to get hurt. That guy is bad for you. He's a weird fella and you know it." I stated and I saw her shrinking. Oh god what have I said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I don't want you to get hurt." When I said that I saw her face lighting up again like it always does.

"I know you don't want that and I appreciate it. But I love Seb and I know he loves me too. He would never intentionally hurt me." She said and I nodded. I couldn't help but feel a little hurt and think: _No he doesn't. He doesn't loves you. He's just using you._ But I didn't say that because I knew it would break her. And I rather have a happy Clary than a broken one.

Clary turned the radio on again and we began singing along. It was so easy how we always just switch from awkward to comfortable. That's one of the things I love the most about our friendship. Although I would love it more to have this in a relationship.

 **Please review. Thanks!**


	3. Traditions and hot showers

**Chapter three and four are up! Go read them and let me know what you think. Thank you for the reviews!**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: Clary POV

"We're here!" I opened the doors of the van and everyone jumped out and stretched. I would say I had mercy with them because of the lack of space, but I didn't.

''Finally!'' Izzy yawned. She stretched herself one more time and then grabbed her stuff and walked into the house. When I entered the big lake house and looked around I was shocked. I had seen some pictures of the house but this was nothing like them. It was even better. As far as I had seen the house for now, it had an amazing, huge and modern living room. I sat on one of the couches next to Izzy and I instantly fell in love with the material. It felt like a bed! Jace sat down next to me and he closed his eyes.

''Omg this feels amazing. Where did you find this house Izzy?'' He asked the raven haired girl next to me. She just ignored Jace and closed her eyes again. I don't blame her. This furniture feels like haven. After a few moments everyone had gathered in the living room and all of us we're seated on a couch or a comfy chair. There was room for everyone, that was going to be a huge advantage for later. Now we could have movie nights all together on the flat screen tv on the wall. My tv at home was ten times smaller than that thing!

''Alright, now that everyone is her could I get your attention?'' Izzy asked and everyone stopped with what they were doing. ''There was a description on the website which said that there were five rooms. So the four couples can share a room and then you have Jace and Clary. ''Do you mind sharing one?'' She asked us and my eyes widened.

"Couldn't you have asked that earlier? Why can't we share a room and then Simon and Jace share a room.'' I defended. I wasn't planning on sharing a room with Jace. Sebastian would go mad if he heard about that. I was still waiting for Izzy's answer. I saw her cheeks redden and then I got the message. ''Ew! Did not want to know that!'' I rubbed my eyes to delete the image from my eyelids. I heard everyone chuckling and I couldn't help but laugh a little too. ''Alright, I'll share a room with Jace.'' I groaned and earned a playful slap from Jace. I just waved him away and focused back to the knew topic.

"Since that settled we can now move on to the next chapter. The house tour. I've been here before.'' Izzy said and everyone looked confused. We had no idea she'd ever been here before.''Yeah, I couldn't chose between two houses. I didn't know which one was better and I wanted us to have our best vacation ever.'' She explained. ''Follow me.'' said Izzy and everyone stood up. I was right behind her and threw my arm around her.

''As long as your here, my vacation can't be broken.'' I whispered in her ear and she hugged me. All of us together were in a group since middle school. Izzy and I just got along better than the rest.

We walked down the hall and turned left. We walked straight into a huge kitchen. I couldn't even see th end! I looked around and admired the art that hung on the walls. I love to draw. I always have. Everywhere I went I brought my sketchbook. I stopped doing that since I got together with Seb. I'm going to buy one and some pencils tomorrow, when we're in the store, I decided.

When I looked looked around I saw cabinets made of glass. The counters were white, made of marble and really long. I saw a stove that worked on electricity and a fruit bowl with no fruit in it. I saw a huge round cooking island and a coffee machine. I noticed that the piece of heaven looked pretty new. I mean, newer than the rest of the kitchen.

"So, this is the kitchen. I know it's big but I thought the big space in the cabinets and drawers would be useful for all the snacks and drinks. Also, fun fact, there was no coffee machine included and I knew that if there wasn't coffee available, it would be like a vacation without a fun and joyful Clary. So I bought one and let te store deliver it here." I was so thankful when I heard Izzy say that.

"Thank god for Izzy! Now we won't have to deal with a grumpy Clary. I love you biscuit but it's true. Without coffee, you're nothing." Magnus said.

"Love you too Mags!" I fake smiled, although I had to admit that he was true. If I can't have a cup of coffee in the morning, my whole day is instantly ruined.

"Alright, so we've seen the kitchen. Where is the dining room?" I heard Aline say. I looked over her and saw that she was holding hands with her girlfriend, Helen. They are so cute together. First, they both pretended to be straight, just like Alec. But when they met each other they knew they couldn't hide it anymore. Every normal thinking creature could see the girls had a thing for each other. We kept telling Aline that she should go talk to her and see what happens but she didn't want to. Helen was to pretty for her with her blond curls and her beautiful blue eyes. We decided to do something about it and asked Helen to join us. She gladly accepted the offer and since then she had been a member of our friend group.

Aline realized that she had a serious thing for this girl and did something about it. They started to hang out with the two of them in private and went on dates. Eventually me and Izzy spotted them, kissing under the bleachers at school and since then they had been a serious couple. Now, Aline is forever thankful that the group decided to take Helen in. Otherwise, she would've never known Helen and they weren't as happy as they were now.

"I also thought of our tradition too." Izzy put on a mischievous grin and led us to the dining room. When we opened the big doors the first thing we saw was the big, round dining table. It had exactly ten chairs around it and it was made of a beautiful maple wood. In the middle there we're some candles on a silver antique plate, decorated with blue paint and a vase with beautiful sun flowers in it- which were obviously the only things not-modern in the entire house.

The colour of flowers always reminded me of the sun. And the sun made me think of Jace. Every time I saw them I was mesmerized by their colour. I would always picture Jace's smiling face and his eyes staring intensely into my owns. He was the most beautiful person I knew. I mean, Sebastian is hot and handsome, but Jace is perfect and beautiful. He's my best friend so I can to say that...

Let me explain something to you. In 7th grade my parents got divorced and my life was like hell. I had tons of problems and issues and I couldn't ask my parents to help me so I had no one to talk to. Our group wasn't that close around that time and we didn't see each other as often as we do now.

On a Saturday night, I slept over at the Lightwoods' and when we were eating we started talking. Eventually Max, the youngest of the Lightwoods, asked me something about my parents. I explained to everyone how they got divorced and some of my problems. They helped and comforted me and since then we made it a tradition. Every twice in a week, we sat around a huge round table and talked about our problems. First, it was a thing the Lightwoods and I did but on some terms, Robert, Maryse and Max didn't join us as often and our other friends joined us instead. It was a big source in my life where I could go to, to get answers and get my problems fixed. It helped me a lot and it made me how I am today. As you can see it means a lot to me.

I felt tears burning in my eyes. "Oh my god, Iz. This means so much to me. Thank you." I always had been the one that used 'the table' more than the others did. After all I had the most problems of us all and as hard as I tried to deal with them on my own, I needed help from my friends to accomplish that. Without them, I would be almost nothing. A girl with red hair, a small frame and freckles and divorced parents. I'm not tall. I don't have big breast and I'm not pretty. But my friends made me feel pretty after all. And I couldn't picture a life without my friends in it.

I walked to the table and walked slowly around the piece of furniture , my hand sliding after me on the wood as I did so. I looked up and saw nine pairs of eyes staring at me. They all had something common in the look on their faces, except Jace's. His shining amber coloured eyes were the most outstanding pair of them all. I had always thought of them this way. That his were the most beautiful. That Jace was the most attractive of them all. I just never say something about it because I like him more as a friend, not as a boy-friend. He is my best friend and I just don't want to destroy our friendship. Hell, I don't even have a crush on him. Never did! Well... that is a lie. I had the tiny tiniest crush on him when we first met. My feelings just replaced themselves for friendship.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I saw Izzy's mouth moving.

"Are you okay honey? Do you need a glass of water?" She rubbed my arm and smiled genuinely. I just shook my head and told her to continue the house tour. The only things left were the garden and the rooms. Since it was late and almost midnight we decided to go tour bedrooms and just tuck in. The backyard could wait. We all picked our rooms and Jace an I got the one at the end of the hallway. Jace went directly into the bathroom and murmured something about getting a shower. I first decide to wait for him but he took a really long time while showering.

"Can I come in please? I'm tired but I have to brush my teeth and remove my makeup!" I yelled while knocking on the door twice. When we were little we always used to knock twice on the door when there was something important going on. Like when we had to talk about a problem and needed each other.

"Come in!" Jace yelled back and I entered the bathroom. It smelled like soap and deodorant and the mirrors were covered with steam. I told myself not to look to the right because Jace was taking a shower and I didn't want to see him naked. It could get awkward that way. _Although he did let me in..._ I thought while looking. I cursed myself for doing so but discovered that a little wall covered his manly part. The only thing I could see were his muscles tightening while he was rinsing his body. He ran his hands through his hair and it looked actually pretty... sexy.

 _For the love of god Clary! He's a friend._ A voice inside me said. It sounded angelic...

 _Screw that!_ Another voice said that sounded a bit like Izzy's.

 _Your best friend! You can't look at him that way. By the way, Sebastian is a more handsome guy than your best friend!_ The angel said again.

I forced the voices to shut up and decided to skip the whole tooth brushing and make up removing thing and just change and go to bed. I pulled half of the covers over my body and heard the shower being turned off. A few moments later I felt the other half of the mattress sinking in a little bit and I turned around. I met Jace's eyes and let my gaze travel over his head and torso. He was shirtless... _Great!_ That will help controlling those weird feelings! I smiled at him and he smiled back. We said goodnight to each other and he closed his eyes.

I stared a little longer and was thinking about the first time we met. The feelings I felt back then were very familiar to the ones I was going through now. I thought about the joke Izzy always made about Jace and me acting like a couple. I always ignored it but was it true? Do I have a crush on Jace? The boy I've known for almost seven years and above all... my best friend?

I don't know the answer to that but what I do know is that this is going to be one hell of a vacation!

 _Goodnight to you too Clary!_

 **What do you think? I first decided to let Clary find out about her little crush later in the story but I couldn't help myself! Sorry!**

 **Did you enjoy the chapter? Sorry it took so long and for any kind of spelling mistakes...**

 **My school year started! Yeeeeess! (Sarcastic!)** **This is a very important year and I have to make some important choices during this year.**

 **I'll try to update as often but I also have three other stories which I have to update too! One is almost finished and is called: Pregnant of two angels. Anyways I'm almost done with that one so that means I'm going to have more time for my other stories.**

 **Thanks again for reading and please leave a review! Thank you!**


	4. Electric feelings and passion fruit

\- Clary's POV

I woke up with a pounding headache. As I sit up, later I realized that it wasn't a really good idea, memories flood into my mind. Me taking shots with Izzy and watching the sunset with a beer in my hand. Oh no... wait! It wasn't the sunset. It was Jace's hair...  
Suddenly, I feel nauseous and run straight to the bathroom. I throw up and want to pull my hair back but find out that my red strands are wrapped around two tanned hands. I look up and meet two gold eyes.

"How you doin'? Drank a little to much last night?" I glare at Jace, the boy who never, NEVER has hangovers. It's like he has this special ability for it.

"Can you get me a towel and a glass with water? Cold water." I demand. Jace kisses my cheeks lightly while standing up and it makes me shiver. I have no idea why and try to push an idea out of my head while he walks to the sink and grabbes me a towel. I accept the towels and tell him to go downstairs.  
"I'll be there in a sec." I say. He nods and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

...really much. Are you sure it's nothing Iz?" I hear Jace say while I take a seat at the huge table next to my best friend. He doesn't seem to notice me.

"What is nothing?" I ask confused. I see Jace looking surprised, like he wasn't expecting it was me.

"Jace thinks your pregnant." Izzy says, I hope, sarcastically. "Apparently, you threw up really much this morning." She says, making bunny ears with her fingers while saying so. My cheeks turn read and I face away from everyone else sitting at the table.

"Since everyone is silent, I assume you were all involved with the conversation?" I say and see everyone looking away trying to act nonchalant.  
"Look, Jace, I'm not pregnant. Why would you think so? Am I fat or something?"  
He shakes his head and wants to react but is cut off by Izzy.

"Jace, while would she be pregnant if she uses protection. You do right?" Izzy asks. I feel my cheeks turning red and my knees weaken.

"Seriously Izzy? Of course we I protection. I'm on the pill and Seb and I use condoms! Jeez, I would never have unprotected sex with someone." I look at Jace and try to read his face. What is he thinking about? Does he believe me? He should do. It's just crazy to think that I would sleep with someone with a possibility to get pregnant. I would never do that, I'm not reckless. Well, not THAT reckless.  
I`m still trying to read his face when I see that his lips are moving.

"I'm sorry Clary. I just want you to be safe. In both ways." Jace grins and finally I see the faithfulness cross over his features. His eyes light up as he laughs and the dimple in his left check appears. I smile to, not because I think what he said was funny, just because of Jace being happy. My Jace.

* * *

"...fruit or something?" Jace says while I'm staring at different brands of bananas. Why are there so many different kinds of fruits anyway? I mean, nobody wants them! After the awkward conversation, Jace and I had to do groceries. Apparently Izzy had already made a schedule for all of us about when we had to do the groceries or put the trash outside.

"Do what you want. I'm going to get drinks." I say while patting him supportively on the shoulders. He chuckles while I skip through the aisles searching for the liquor area. Jace isn't 21 yet but he's going to try to buy it by flirting with the girl behind the pay desk. I grab the last bottle of an expensive vodka. Izzy decided to pay for the groceries for this week so we had her credit card with us. _Karma is a bitch, Iz.  
_ Suddenly I see a flash of blonde hair besides me. I look to my right and meet two black eyes. _Sebastian._

"Hey Seb, what are you doing here?" I ask while carefully playing with the glass bottle in my hands.

"I was going to ask the same but since you asked first." He grabbed something out of his pocket. When he showed it to me my eyes went wide. In is hands were two packets of light blue condoms. I pushed his hands back so he could put them back in his pockets.

"Seb, everyone can see it." I whisper. He winks and asks me again why I'm here.

"I'm just doing groceries. What else would I be doing in a supermarket?" I laugh a little awkward. Thankfully I saw Jace walking up to me with big steps.

"There you are. Passionfruit good choice... Oh.'' Jace got silent when he saw Sebastian. He rubbed the back of his neck when he saw the condoms in Seb's hands.  
"Hi Sebastian," He greeted without facing him, ''You know what, Clary? I'll just get the milk real quickly and then we can go back...''

''Actually, would you mind if I take her with me?'' Sebastian cut him off. ''My parents aren't at the house so we can have a little alone time.'' I groaned in myself, memories of this morning flooding into my mind.

"Okay, be safe alright?" Jace joked but I could see the hurt in his eyes. I laughed and watched him walking away.

"What was so funny about that?" Sebastian asked when I finally stopped laughing. Honestly, I don't even know the answer myself. But I guess I was just trying to make it less awkward.

"Oh nothing. Jace just thought I was pregnant since I threw up this morning." I say. When I see Sebastian's face I immediately regret it.

"He thought what? IS HE CRAZY?" Seb yelled. I tried to shush him but figured it wouldn't help.  
When Sebastian and I first started dating he wasn't always like this. I happened very often that he would get mad about things. But since a while he's been more mad than before. Even at little things.  
While I was thinking about Sebastian's problems, I started noticing the angry looks other customers were giving me. Like they were trying to say: "Take care of your brined" or "Make sure he stops." Suddenly I realized something. I wasn't going to take care of Sebastian the whole time while we're dating. That's crazy.

"You know what Seb? If your cooled down I'll consider coming over to your house. Meanwhile, I'm going to take a walk. Goodbye Sebastian." I gave him a pat on his back and walked away fast. Bringing the bottle of vodka with me.

* * *

 **Jace POV:**

I drove back to the house, singing along to the radio. 'Electric' from Alina Baraz and Khalid was playing. It made me think of Clary. About how I feel about her and how I get electric shocks, running through my body every time she touches me. I thought of her green eyes and her freckles. There was only one thing I couldn't blame Sebastian about and that was for the fact that he chose Clary over all the other girls. If I had had the courage and the guts to tell her I would've done a long time ago. Unfortunately I don't have the courage. Not to tell her.  
It's just weird that I can be really flirty with other girls and confident. But when I want to talk to Clary about how I really feel, I suddenly feel like a four year old who has to confess that he stole the last candy. _Great metaphor, Jace._

When I was back at the lake house I grabbed the groceries from the back and tried to figure out how I was going to grab my keys when my hands were filled with bags. I decided to ring the bell with my nose. After a few seconds the door opened and Magnus' face appeared.

"Hey, Goldilocks. Where's biscuit?" He asked while taking one of the grocery bags out of my hands. I walked in and closed the door behind me. We walked into the kitchen and while we were putting the eggs and milk in the fridge, I explained where Clary was.

"Was Sebastian there?" Magnus asked while he grabbed a piece of chocolate. I slapped him on the hand.

"That's for the breakfast I'm making tomorrow morning. And, yes, he was there." I answered while taking the chocolate out of Magnus' hands.

"Who was where?" Alec sad while taking a place at the marble counter. I hadn't even noticed that he was in the kitchen. Suddenly, three other pairs came into the room and took a seat at the counter as well. Great, the bigger the public, the better.I groaned.

"Sebastian was buying condoms in the same store as Clary and I went to. She went home with him after it." I told them. Everyone murmured something that they understood and how they thought it sucked. Except for one person.

"Of course she went home with him. Dude, you can't blame the guy that Clary's going with him. I mean, he's her boyfriend." Jordan said and got hit by Maia on the head. He rubbed the spot on his head while walking outside with Maia on his side, Helen, Aline and Simon following them.

"As much as I want to ignore Jordan's snarky comment, I have to agree with him a little," I looked up with surprised and looked into Izzy's blue eyes, "Jace, you can't act surprised. You have had a crush on her for almost ten years now. You have to make a move, she isn't going to find out on her own."

"I know. It's just that I love her to much as a friend to make a move. What if she doesn't like me in that way? I don't want to ruin our friendship." I said and started unpacking the rest of the groceries. Izzy hugged me while Alec and Magnus told me that they understood. They walked out of the kitchen and left me alone thinking about what I should do. While I did so, one thought kept flooding in my mind. "I just don't wanna lose her."

* * *

 **Chapter four: done!**

 **I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I was really busy with school and stuff like that. I try to upload as much as I can!**  
 **Hope you still thought it was worth waiting. Just say what you think in the review!**

 **A lot of kisses and love from me!**


	5. Announcement: THANK YOU!

Hey everyone!,

Before you get excited, I have to apologize. This is not a new chapter. I just have to tell you something.

It hurts me so much but I have to get a pause on writing a few of my stories. I'm extremely busy with school and life around this amazing fanfiction community, that I just don't have much time to spare. I just want to finish a few stories before continuing others. Otherwise I feel extremely guilty for not updating on my others. It is absolutely okay if you're mad, disappointed or whatever you're feeling right now, because I know that I brought this on myself. I started five other stories after I uploaded my first one. I just think it's better for myself and the stories if I finish them one by one.

I am, again, extremely sorry for the long waiting but I just don't know what to do. I really want to keep updating all of my stories but that takes a lot of energy and time and I'm afraid I just don't have that right now.

So again I am so sorry for the readers of Pretty Little Liar, The Tutor, Being in love without the love, High School. Easy! Right? and last but not least scars fade slowly, but I'll be finishing: 'Pregnant of two angels' before I continue on the other stories.

I just want to say that I am so freakin thankful for all of your support and reviews and favorites and followers. The people that were here from the beginning and of course my new readers, I can't thank you enough. You are what kept me sane in my busy life and I appreciate it so much! I just hope that you let me take my time and I promise I won't let you down.

So with no further do, I want to thank one more time for every single fucking thing! I love you all. Thank you.


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